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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115750">Shape of my Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneryn7/pseuds/anneryn7'>anneryn7</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Boy Band Kind of Love [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, BAMF Wade Wilson, Boys In Love, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Idiots in Love, M/M, Peter Parker Loves Wade Wilson, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Wade Wilson, References to Depression, Teen Peter Parker, True Love, Wade Wilson Loves Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:33:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27115750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneryn7/pseuds/anneryn7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you tell your partner that you no longer have any desire to be physical, because your depression has left you so beyond physically depleted? Peter didn't even know where to begin. But he knew that he had to do something soon. Wade was a saint, but he was only human. Peter knew that even his patience had its limits. He was terrified that he would lose Wade, whenever that was.</p>
<p>Peter didn't want to lose the love of his young life. He didn't want to go from having Wade and his love to being alone. Again. That was something he didn't think he could ever recover from. Peter had already lost so many people, been broken so much. He didn't think that he could lose Wade, too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Wade Wilson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Boy Band Kind of Love [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shape of my Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: Welcome to new series for my little Spideypool 'verse! If you haven't already, please check out My Spideypool Romance for the ten stories before this one.</p>
<p>I DO NOT OWN DEADPOOL, SPIDERMAN, OR ANY OTHER MARVEL CHARACTERS.<br/>Music Inspiration/Song Suggestion: "Shape of my Heart" – BackStreet Boys</p>
<p>Background: Mysterio did not out Peter as Spiderman. Natasha didn't die. I can't bring myself to write something that she AND Tony aren't around for. It's bad enough that Tony is gone. Steve is still Cap. He came back and is still the same age. Not Endgame compliant. Loki is also not dead.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite promises of being physical, overwhelming feelings of grief and depression pulled Peter under, again. It neared closer to the anniversary of Tony's death. He just felt so helpless, so hopeless. Peter could barely process his sadness, let alone function. He lost his sex drive, along with his gumption for anything else in his life. And on top of everything, he had no idea how to tell Wade.</p>
<p>How do you tell your partner that you no longer have any desire to be physical, because your depression has left you so beyond physically depleted? Peter didn't even know where to begin. But he knew that he had to do something soon. Wade was a saint, but he was only human. Peter knew that even his patience had its limits. He was terrified that he would lose Wade, whenever that was.</p>
<p>Peter didn't want to lose the love of his young life. He didn't want to go from having Wade and his love to being alone. Again. That was something he didn't think he could ever recover from. Peter had already lost so many people, been broken so much. He didn't think that he could lose Wade, too.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Baby Boy, will ya talk to me? You've been off for weeks. You don't even complain when I turn on <em>The Office</em>, anymore. Something's wrong, Petey-Pie, and don't tell me something isn't. I love you more than I love Blanche, and you're starting to scare me. You're regressing. You're like you were, when we first got together. Talk to me, Baby Boy, please." Wade begged his boyfriend.</p>
<p>That's all it took for Peter's should to sag and his resolve to break. The tears came blazing down and there was nothing he could do to stop them. Everything was pouring out. He was a blubbering mess and he didn't even try to get any words out. He knew he wouldn't be able to make sense of anything like this.</p>
<p>Wade's arms wrapped around him and he help him, as he bawled. He rubbed Peter's back and breathed sweet reassurances into Peter's ear.</p>
<p>Gradually, Peter's tears slowed and he tried to catch his breath, as his body sagged against Wade. Wade peppered kisses on top of Peter's head, as his hiccups slowed.</p>
<p>"I could feel myself regressing, but I was too scared to say something. I was too scared to say something and make it real. My depression has gotten so overwhelming… It's been so fucking bad. I have no drive for anything. I was scared you would leave me, once you found out how broken I still was." Peter cried. Wade's arms just tightened around him.</p>
<p>"Oh, Baby Boy. There's nothing you could do to ever make Daddypool ever stop loving you. There are few people in this world I care about, but you're my heart. The shape of my heart is you, Petey-Pie. Whatever you need is what I'll give you. I don't care if you don't have a sex drive, or if most days you barely have enough energy to get out of bed. I still love you. I still want you. Nothing will ever change that." Wade promised. Peter nodded against him and sniffled, as he felt his body finally begin to relax.</p>
<p>"I was so scared I would lose you, too. And I couldn't… Not on top of everyone else." Peter whispered.</p>
<p>"I fully plan on marrying you, someday, and having your spider babies. There is no way you're losing me. It's okay if you're still grieving Tony and if you're depression is stronger than it usually is, right now. You're my forever, Petey. I love you."</p>
<p>As Peter processed the mercenary's words, he felt so relieved. He just nodded, against his boyfriend.</p>
<p>"I really love you." Peter's voice said in a broken whisper.</p>
<p>"I'll always be here, no matter how long it takes to get you through this, Baby. Always."</p>
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